Thursday, July 31, 2008

Doubt

Why are there so many people hurting in this world...?

...and why can't I help them?

Let me change that.


Why are there so many people hurting in my world, and why do I fail to help them?

I wish there was a way that I could help make every marriage and relationship perfect, that I could help make every family love each other and spend time together, that I could help every teenager and young adult value themselves...

I wish I felt like I was actually doing something.

But I'm doubting myself.

I'm doubting God's timing, I'm doubting God's promises, I'm doubting God's work through me, and I'm doubting the fruit that I can't see being planted right now because I'm too busy worrying over if I'm tossing enough seeds.

What is it about doubt that just...sucks so much?

John 20:27 says "stop doubting and believe." Perfect memory verse, yet much easier said than done! When will I actually learn to use the word of God as offense to questions and feelings like these? When am I going to stop worrying about doubting myself so that I can believe in God? When will I truly live out the reality that my life isn't about me, but is about serving Him?

"Stop doubting and believe."

[Okay, okay, okay...breathe.]

Although slowly-sometimes, very slowly, I'm learning that God allows for experiences, conversations, and people to interrupt the "perfect plans" of our live so that we can be reminded-again and again and again and again-who ACTUALLY is in control. Sometimes-most times-it is so easy to feel frustrated by a "lack of performance" to help people. Many times, I quickly become discouraged at these moments because of my weaknesses and incompetency. Yet, these are the beautiful moments where-if we believe-we can trust God to handle our situations in His perfect timing.

I'm learning.

Slowly but surely.

"Stop doubting and believe."

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Teaching, Ministry, or...?

When I was 5 years old, I remember spending all of my time in front of a 2ft high x 3ft long black chalkboard that my dad nailed into the wall to display before my "classroom." The classroom, full of young, bright students consisted of none other than a variety of fisher price tables, desks, and chairs with stuffed animals of every color, animal, and shape. My younger brother, John, was the brightest of them all. He always scored well on his weekly spelling test, aced his geography questions, and completed mathematical equations "to the T."

Hours of "playing school" carried me through years of actually attending school and dreaming at every chance possible the day when I would have my own real classroom.

I was a teacher. Always.

That is, until middle-school.

I remember thinking in 8th grade that I was meant to be something "different than a teacher." I remember thinking that I wanted to be someone that was extraordinary; someone that was unusual; someone that would enter a career unfamiliar to most. I desired a job completely different than the typical teacher.

I remember exploring the possibilities of being a fitness director, a personal trainer, a counselor, a nutritionist, a wedding planner-a professional scrap-booker? (I wish.) It wasn't until my senior year of high school, however, when I came across that "extraordinary" experience that's continued to challenge my dream to teach ever since.

I discovered ministry.

In the fall of 2004, I made a firm decision to begin attending Christ's Church of the Valley's high school youth group, Riot. When visiting the youth ministry on my first visit, I remember telling the youth minister, "I could do this. How do I get involved with something like this?"

From that point forward, I began a very active role as an involved teenager within not only the youth group, but the church's Sunday morning children's program; Valley Kids. Immediately I fell in love with the idea of "ministry," and by May 2005, I signed up for a one month high-school internship.

I never forgot my glorified short-lived youth ministry experience, and that summer, I was inspired by the children's minister's skills and talents to teach hundreds of children God's word with such energy and ease. Despite my rather considerate scholarship to a local Pennsylvania liberal arts college, I spent many days that summer exploring Christian school programs for youth and children's ministry. No changes. I left that summer to pursue an elementary education degree at Albright College.

Since then, the joys of ministry have not since left my mind.

After years of continued deliberation between my passion for teaching and my passion for ministry, I was excited this past spring to receive a summer internship within the departments of youth and children's ministry at Christ's Church of the Valley. "Finally!" I celebrated. "An opportunity for me to discern my passions and true calling!"

Yea.

Right.

Don't we all wish it was that easy?

Only a few weeks away from completing my internship, I find myself in no easier of a decision making process than weeks, months, or years before. I've had moments where I couldn't ever imagine even comparing ministry to teaching at a public school. I love this job, I think. I'm good at it, and I could see myself helping to grow this ministry. Yet, I've had other moments where I can't wait until the internship finishes its end so that I can return to Albright College to finish my education program, student teach, and pursue my "true calling" of teaching.

In all honesty, most of the latter moments have stirred from frustrations of feeling incompetent in a specific ministry role.

I've never more easily convinced that I can't do something than in ministry.

Ministry is a lot more difficult than many people know, or think, or care to know or think about!

But for some reason, no matter how many times I think "I can't do ministry," or "I'm just fit to be a teacher," or "this isn't for me," my passion never goes away.

Frustrating.

So I wonder, do I feel a call on my heart to pursue vocational ministry or do I feel a call to do "ministry" while teaching?

Knowing my personality, I wish I knew.

For now, as my internship with children's and youth ministry comes to a close, I plan to collect as
much wisdom, guidance, and experience as possible from the extremely talented staff members at CCV. Come August 17th, I'll be returning to Albright College to finish my last year of college, in which I'll be student teaching in inner-city Reading, PA in the spring of 2009. From there, only God knows.

It's a scary thing to admit that-"only God knows." For 12+ years of my educational career, I've known what to aim for, achieve, and expect of the future to follow. This is one year, one decision, one future that I truly need to learn to give to God.

I hope I'm ready.

I'm glad God is.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Escape 2008

As a young adult interested in working with children and teenagers, I often receive the question,"What age-group of youth do you enjoy working with?"

More often than not, I answer that "although I love working with all ages (K-18, that is), I especially love middle-schoolers because they're not afraid to be energized, enthusiastic, and ask questions about life, God, and 'how all the pieces fit together'."

Because of this, I often find myself sitting in on the middle school services (Impact), hanging out with the middle school students, and attending middle-school break-out sessions within youth conference trips.

And although I love the maturity of high-schoolers, I rarely find myself with an opportunity to bond with them.

Similarly to the Kids' Camp and Stretch conferences that our church hosted this summer, CCV (for its first time ever) hosted a high-school "getaway" conference from July 21st-July 23rd at Black Rock Retreat Camp in Quarryville, PA. When I heard about the opportunity to travel alongside 46 of our high school students, I quickly became excited at the possibility of knowing this age-group closer.

The conference was a great success. Our guest speaker, Jeffery Dean, challenged the students to "share the latest with God" by finding ways to live out God's truth in scripture targeting teenage issues including body image, self-esteem, dating, sexual relationships, honesty, humility, sacrifice, and much more. It was neat to meet with students to discuss their thoughts, feelings, and questions as they felt God pouring insights on their hearts. One of my favorite times to walk around and observe the students involved "quiet time," a time of prayer and scripture study.

Outside of session time and small groups, it was encouraging to see teenagers bonding together; whether at meals times, during free times, or after hours in the room; some of the greatest memories of the trip rest in the hours of watching teens experience life together.

Upon asking the students what improvements could be made for next year, nearly every student answered, "It's not long enough!"

It makes me wonder though-do we always have to Escape just to experience moments like these where we feel God moving and working?

I sure hope not.

I pray that one day, the students will feel just as comfortable, excited, and enthusiastic to hear and experience God at their own youth group service as they did at Escape 2008. It's encouraging to see how closely teens are searching God when guided in the chances, the opportunities, and the time to pursue him.

Check out our latest video from our high school retreat, Escape 2008!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Kids' Camp BIG TOP Video

Although a bit delayed, here's a video peek from our chidren's summer camp, KIDS' CAMP BIG TOP! This year, CCV reached out to 959 children! God is so BIG! Enjoy!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Kids' Camp Reflections

Finally, a bit of time to reflect.

These past few weeks at CCV have been a whirlwind between organizing CCV's 3 summer camps: STRETCH (middle-school students), KIDS' CAMP BIG TOP (children 4 years old-5th grade), and ESCAPE (high-school students). I FINALLY feel like I have a few minutes to reflect on my experiences within each, especially last week's production: KIDS' CAMP BIG TOP!

Knowing that I would be interning this summer, I was looking forward to helping out at another Kids' Camp, especially since I missed out on last year's pirate-themed camp because of my internship with Christ In Youth (CIY). To my surprise, little did I realize to what extent my involvement would entail.

I quickly became a part of the camp's drama, a 7-10 minute production that is performed for the children each year in order to illustrate the camp's themes, bible verses, and points of team-time conversation for the day. My role: I played a janitor at BIG TOP'S carnival whom always dreamed of being a tight-rope walker. After dreaming "big" on the first day and realizing that "big dreams come with big challenges," I was able to achieve my dream by day three, understanding that "God can do more than we can ever imagine!"



I admit, I admit, it was a lot of fun to be one of the "stars" for a few days. It was neat to see the kids' excitement when I high-five, danced, or engaged in conversations with them. I loved acting on-stage, off-stage, and taking the chance to "be bold" when ad-libbing lines with the cast. Whether acting, speaking, or getting the kids excited, it felt so natural to be on stage. I couldn't have asked for a more enjoyable time or a better way in which I was able to exercise my God-given gifts.

My favorite and most memorable moment of all of camp occurred on the third day. Spur of the moment, I had decided to sit on-top one of the scaffolding pieces that sat on the top right part of our staging area to make the illusion that I had walked across the tight-rope that stretched across the auditorium ceiling. While children came in, I waved and during songs, I clapped and swayed. (Believe me, I wasn't planning on doing much more while sitting on a small pole that helped my bottom side feel in existent within a matter of minutes.)During the song "Your Words are Life," I embraced the moment of watching 500+ children (in the older session) jump up and down to the words in the chorus.

I had tears in my eyes.

Tight-rope walkers don't cry!

They do when witnessing something miraculous.

You know, it's incredible how the lessons that we choose to teach to such a young audience can be so applicable to our own lives. This year's theme, "Big Dreams" couldn't have been more "real" to my own situation. I know that God's allowed me to dream big dreams, not only for MJ the tight-rope walker, but MJ, Melissa Jaworski, the girl who LOVES the energy of children and students, the girl who LOVES to speak, sing, dance, act, and goof around to help make a Godly lasting impression in students' minds, the girl who'll admit that she's LOVES organization and administration, and the girl who over the course of her life time hopes to touch the lives of millions of people in "ways that she could never imagine."

I know that He's allowed me to dream big dreams-and this year's Kids' Camp has reminded me of the importance of that 1) God gives us strength to dream big dreams (Philippians 4:13), God is with us wherever we go, even through the challenging times (Joshua 1:9), and God can do more than we can ever imagine (Ephesians 4:20).

I'm glad that what God has planned is more than I can imagine, because I'm ready to take some daring chances to put myself on the line for a God so big, so strong, so courageous, and so creative.

God's a man of His Word.

I pray that one day, He'll have tears in His eyes while watching from His own "scaffolding" the dancing and singing going on below Him.

House-Sitting

There's this great job that's been invented ever since I've become a college-student attending Christ's Church of the Valley.


House-sitting.


That's right, house-sitting. It's a job that entails the responsibility of watching a family's house while they endeavor on vacation, business, etc. ensuring the safety of the family's home. Oh, and I guess if the family has pets, they might need a "watching-over" too.

Of course, pets.

I thought that was just called "pet watching?"

Anyway, house-sitting, pet-watching, name or no name, I LOVE IT!

As a 21-year-old college student preparing to enter into her final year of college and soon begin her very own life, if I could travel back in time and "redesign" my summer-stay, I would specifically schedule my summer so that I was house-sitting each week of the summer with a few "week vacations" staying at my parents' house.

Reason?

Privacy.

Silence.

Sanity-

Okay, okay, I'll stop there. I'm only joking about the last one. (It is not obvious that I just returned from a high-school retreat?) It is wonderful though to have both privacy and silence upon returning home from a hard day's work. I'm now realizing the uniqueness in that time. House-sitting allows for the perfect opportunities for those moments. It's an excuse to get away from the craziness (even that craziness that's sometimes in your own home), and find some hours for yourself.

Today when I returned to the current house that I'm house-sitting, I enjoyed throwing myself on the couch to enjoy Disney's latest "Camp Rock." As much as Myers Briggs will try and convince me that I get my energy from other people (I am a strong extrovert), I cannot deny the essential quiet time that is needed in my life to relax, reflect, and recharge. Whether that time be spent reading, sprawling myself across the couch and watching a short film, browsing the Internet, or simply using a few minutes-or hours-to visit the inside of my eyelids, I love my time.

It's actually addicting.

A few additional reasons to love house-sitting:

-You get paid to hang out in some one's home, eat their food, use their furniture, and play with their children's' toys. Did I mention I love Nintendo Wii?

-You can scope out potential set-ups for room designs, furniture, and home-decorating techniques for your future home.

-You can enjoy living on your own, like at college-without worrying how you're going to pay the rent or get the week's groceries!


Praise God for house-sitting opportunities so that I can learn all about the value of self-quality time...and prepare for my future!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

STRETCH video

Take a look at our STRETCH video! What a SUCESS! STRETCH 2008 was AWESOME!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Post-STRETCH-Syndrome

STRETCH is over.

I can't believe it! After it seeming like all of our days have blended together, we've finally hit our "regular" Sunday morning, and we've all survived! Similar to the first two nights, last night was moving. April and myself, the voices of the Barbie characters, came to life (yes, we were life size Barbies-every girls' dream) and made a special opening appearance with the Bubba Brothers. The program was packed with skaters, dancers, incredible worship, and a powerful message by Travis Krim, himself. Towards the end of the night an invitation was made for students to go and talk to a leader about the next steps in pursuing a relationship with Jesus.

The amount of hands that shot up was breath-taking. Tears flooded the room. Hearts were softened and students were moving. It was one of the most beautiful sights that has ever taken place within those auditorium walls.

The night ended with a few more fun games, a magician performance, and a skater demonstration. A young girl who brought the most friends over STRETCH's three days got to ride off with her friends to the local Sonic for free food and desserts. 10pm approached quickly.

It was incredible to watch dozens of volunteers working together in order to transition the church back to a "state of readiness" for Sunday morning. While we all believed we'd be staying at the church until Sunday morning, we ended up leaving shortly after 11pm. It's awesome to watch the power of people working together.

STRETCH 2008: A success beyond words. I'll be praying for tonight in hopes to see many of those middle schoolers returning to our Sunday night IMPACT service.

Rumor even has it that the Barbies and the Bubba Brothas are supposed to make a special guest appearance.

Stay tuned for the video post of STRETCH 2008.

Friday, July 11, 2008

STRETCH Full Circle




Oh, yea, it's STRETCH time, friends. I actually don't know WHAT is inspiring me to be able to write a blog at this hour of the night on STRETCH Day #2. Must be the energy from all those teens! Either that or engry from all the sugar we gave them...

Regardless, it's difficult to fall asleep when you experience God working "Full Circle."

As briefly mentioned before, today was Day #2 of Christ Church of the Valley's middle school coference, STRETCH. This year's theme, Full Circle, inspired staff and volunteers to transform the auditorium seating to include a lighted runway surrounded by circular seating, painted panels, and circular light shows. Just outside, a circular trussing greeted guests, plastered with the letters "Full Circle" in neon green so as to glow in the lobby's black-lights. An upstairs "Game Zone" also featured black lights shining off dozens of video game stations; a gamer's dream. Outside, the church's lower parking-lot is packed with 2 inflatable rides, a "tumbler ride," side-show guests, a skateboarding area, lazer tag, and of course, a giant food tent.

The scene was unbelievable.

On STRETCH DAY 1, 200 students were tallied; the largest amount of students EVER known to attend STRETCH. Tonight, the student count was at 224.

In-between the craziness of featured dancers, professional entertainers, band members, an outstanding speaker, over-the-top "Bubba Brothers" (our wrap-up announcers), my co-worker April and I enjoyed "pumping up" the students and taking them through the night as their hosts. It's an incredible feeling to be able to walk off that stage and know that kids enjoy you for being well, yourself.

Finally getting the chance to reflect on the event a bit "full circle," I've come to realize that God is doing some incredible things full circle in the student ministries department at CCV:

1. Full Circle Staff: Even though this week has been the craziest, tiring, and frantic week-I believe we've all worked enough hours to fill three pay-checks-I couldn't ask for a greater team of Christ's warriors to partner with. It is absolutely unbelievable to see the power of five hard-working young adults who feel the call of ministry in their hearts. (Of course, none of our efforts would be possible without the mentorship of Frank Chiapperino and the rest of the CCV Staff!) I am so grateful to be growing under the wisdom that these new friends have to offer us.

2. Full Circle Volunteers: I have never before seen the power of leadership so strong within our volunteers. On the first day of STRETCH, we reported having over 70 volunteers! It is so encouraging to watch other individuals sharing God’s love with this age group. It has been especially heart-warming to watch the high school students serve; not only during the hours of STRETCH, but before and afterwards. We wouldn’t have been able to bring this event to such excellence without their help.

3. Full Circle Students: Some of my most baffling moments while hanging out with the students during free time has been finding out the roots of how they heard about STRETCH and why they decided to come. I have been surprised to discover that a handful of students remember me from my YMCA counseling days and recall me frequently inviting them to the church. I’ve run into students who have come because of a friends’ invitation or because of a sibling’s experience with the camp years before. Even more, I was able to meet a few students who came because of the door hanger invitations that were distributed on Monday. In fact, two students whom I personally spoke to at Rocco’s and whom some teenager girls and I invited to come have been attending each night and plan on sticking around.


STRETCH Full Circle: now that’s what I’m talking about!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Little Things

A parent told me a beautiful story today.

Upon asking a student how he got involved with the church's youth group, the parent realized that his response chimed, "Melissa."

Questioning further, the parent probed for further information. The student described that while he was still young and attending the YMCA Summer Day Camp, he remembers me asking him to check out IMPACT, our middle-school ministry.

Since that moment, he's become a regular attender at IMPACT and has recently graduated to the high-school ministry, RIOT. In fact, within the last two years, this student has challenged his faith with difficult questions, surrendered his life to the Lord through baptism, and even attended the infamous high school Christ In Youth trip of 2008.

"You never realize how you affect a student," the parent encouraged. "You really influenced his life, and all it took was an invitation."

It has been incredible to watch how that invitation has blossomed into a way for God to work through the student's heart, the hearts of his family members, and those friends around him. We NEVER realize the potential that "little things" have in an individual's life. It's things like those-opening doors, carrying a conversation, taking time to help someone-the little things-that sometimes, God uses as those most life changing experiences.

Jeff's Angels

July 7th, 2008. Arrive at CCV at 9AM sharp. Kids' Camp Flyer Day.

The scene was WONDERFUL.

I walked upstairs to our usually "Foxes and Frogs" VK teaching room to find a mob of adult and teenage volunteers. People were buzzing with conversation, the white-board was out and "drivers" were being designated, and everyone was excited with the enthusiasm of CCV's summer conferences quickly approaching. I was quickly greeted by six wonderful middle school girls who were excited to tell me that they had decided to drive in my car!

Big problem. I didn't have my car today.

Solution: find another driver willing to take six middle-school girls and a twenty-one year old who likes to sometimes act like she's in middle school.

We quickly decided that we were going to "jump" at the first driver who had six available seats.

Our lucky winner? Jeff Whitebread.

We called ourselves Jeff's Angels.



The walkie-talkie buzzed: "10-4, Jeff's Angels reporting with team Sabrina, Jill, and Kelly. We're set on our mission and we're out and running..."

The trip was fantastic. Between Jeff's talking GPS system, Kids' Camp worship music blasting in the background (did I mention that 5 of the 6 girls are on P-98, CCV's teenage worship team?), walkie-talkie dialogue, and the constant chatter of us girls, the trip had NO dull moments. Getting caught in rain, stopped by giant dogs, and held up by bathroom delays, we finally made it to Rocko's to lunch, where we got to gather around a table for some great conversation. Finishing our route around 2:30pm, we headed for ice cream and back to the building only to enthusiastically turn back on the road for a second round. We even found ourselves at the Philadelphia Premium Outlets slipping flyers on car windshields. We finally crawled back to the building around 5:45pm, one of the last teams to return.

Jeff's Angels: We were certainly a sight to see...and hear!

Even more, as a 21 year old girl passionate about watching teens take a stand for their faith, my heart skipped beats when watching the girls' faith take form. How exciting it was to watch the girls spread the gospel: whether by hanging door-hangers, verbally telling other teenagers about their camps, or sharing exciting thoughts with each other. I loved the opportunity to be a part of the girls' worlds; their stories, their questions, their adventures. It's days like these, I reflected, why it's so natural to fall in love with a burden to help teens know and mature in Christ.

Even with six girls, I'm confident Jeff enjoyed his experience with his angels, too.

I can hear the walkie-talkie now: "Jeff's Angels reporting, flyers eliminated, mission accomplished, lives changing...an overall, very, very successful day."

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Now, THIS is Work!

A few of us put together a commercial to promote Christ's Church of the Valley's Kids' Camp coming up in a few weeks. The promo turned out great, take a look for yourself!





Now, this is DEFINITELY the type of work that I could do forever!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Brotherly Love

When I was 14, I clearly remember my dad lecturing me about the importance of family.

"Remember, Melissa, " he said. "It is important to form solid relationships with your brothers now, because later on, they're most likely to be the ones that'll stick around."


Now, of course, at age 14, I thought my dad was a "weirdo" and I wanted nothing to do with the statement. Yet, I've never forgotten his words, and today, I greatly value the truth he spoke. I have three brothers, and each has their special gifts and talents. Justin is a superstar athlete who enjoys any challenge involving running and a ball, Thomas is an incredibly intelligent, genuine, caring pre-teen with passion and drive, and Johnny is a well-rounded, musically-gifted, skateboarding gooroo with a sense of humor like no other.

I love my brothers.





In fact, it was very difficult to separate from my brothers when going away to college.

I especially noticed my discomfort in not spending as much time with the oldest brother of the three, Johnny. (Okay, okay, so his name is John and he is nearly 20 years old, but I still can't help but call him Johnny!) There were very few times-if any at all-that Johnny and I were separated when growing up. Being that we both traveled back and forth together from our mom's house to our dad's house throughout the week and every-other weekend, he and I were the only ones who understood exactly what the other was going through when we complained about the hassle, hurt, and frustrations of having "two different houses, two different families, and two different sets of childhood rules."


This past Monday, I had the unique opportunity to work with my brother for the entire day building a quarter-pipe (a type of skateboarding ramp for all of those otherwise misled). The church asked my brother (who is a spectacular skateboarder, as noted above) and his friends to perform at STRETCH, the middle-school summer conference at Christ's Church of the Valley. When asked what the skating crew requested, Johnny stated, "a quarter pipe."




Despite the day's frustrations of realizing that Kidz Zone is NOT an ideal resource to build a REAL quarter-pipe ramp (one that does not require duct tape), riding in a pick-up truck with three boys, searching for wood and "Masonite" (not pronounced correctly EVER by myself), drawing an arch WAY more difficult than perceived, soaking plywood in the Perkiomen Creek, and realizing that lining up plywood perfectly is easier "said than done..."


::breathe::


...I could not have asked for a better day with my brother.



Spending time with him reminded me of just how special our friendship is to me. It reminded me of just how special he is to me, how much I miss him being in my life, and how much I wish I was more involved in his. After all, it was with Johnny who I used to make forts with in our bunked-bed bedroom, it was with Johnny who I used to go on backwards adventures with playing "Lost Kids," it was with Johnny that I had the courage to join soccer, baseball, and the karate; testing up through black belt together. It was with Johnny that I began coming to the high school youth group, Riot, at Christ's Church of the Valley, and it was with Johnny that I dedicated my life to Christ, on February 20, 2005.


I pray daily for my brother and his future. I pray that he will continue his walk with God, allowing God to lead him on a journey more incredible than he could ever imagine, I pray that he surrounds himself with people that love and care for him. I pray that he sets goals and aims for ambitions throughout his life, always pursing his passions and never allowing himself to fall short of any dreams.

I can't wait until the next time I get the opportunity to build with my brother. Whether tent, a quarter-pipe, or something bigger, building our memories is always my most favorite part.

Brotherly love.