Life Courses and Childhood Dreams

I'm always extremely discouraged to "start up" blogging again after I'm well aware when I take a hiatus. It reminds me that I'm extremely "human," not perfect by any means, and oh yes, effected by life's course of changes every now and then.

Nonetheless, here I am, blogging, and I am comfortable to now say that after a nine day road trip from the West Coast back to the East, diving into a first year teaching job the weekend after our return, searching and scoping out wedding venues, caterers. and entertainment, and moving back to Reading all within a short month, I feel like I'm "settling in." (And some people thought that making the transition from being a college student to "going into the real world alone was overwhelming!)

"Life" has surely taken its course in my life.

I suppose I can't be surprised, though. Life is always an adventure for my fiance and I. That's how we like it to view it anyway.

As I lay here in my Reading apartment-and yes, lay-I say lay because my roommate and I literally do not have any living room furniture to sit on yet (oh, that needs to happen, too?), I still cannot relish the reality of my now "school teacher" world. Three weeks ago I had my first "day of school." Monday I had my first "faculty meeting." Tomorrow I have my first "Meet the Teacher" night. The experience still seems to be beyond me. I cannot believe that I, Melissa Jaworski, am largely responsible for the academic progress of 19 students. Really, what was I thinking when I thought that I could have that much responsibility hanging on my shoulders?

Believable or not, being a school teacher is a dream that I've held onto ever since I was five years old. In fact, the day before my "first day of school," I told my mom, "I can't believe that tomorrow I'm going to be the person I dreamed to be since I was five years old."

Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to retire a teacher. I still have a very strong passion for vocational ministry, such as working within a church or for a para-church organization. I very well may decide to not teach after this first year experience. On the other hand, I may decide that I'll continue to teach for a number of years. Nevertheless, it's incredible for me to fathom the reality of fulfilling a childhood dream.

In fact, it gives me even more hope and inspiration for the children that I'm teaching. In 4th grade, I wanted more than anything to be a teacher, and now here I am, a 4th grade teacher.

When I reflect back on my journey towards "becoming a teacher," I'm reminded of all of the different stages that I passed through while remaining committed to my dream; teaching my stuffed animals at 5 years old, filing tests and quizzes for my elementary school teachers, deciding "teaching wasn't good enough for me" at 13, continuing to organize people and tasks in every opportunity available throughout middle and high school, struggling to decide a major in college...only to choose elementary education. I've had a lot of "twists and turns," a lot of changes and "I can't decide" moments, yet always, always, have I had the consistency of a small burning flame within me to...teach.

In fact, my journey reminds me of the well-known scripture in Jeremiah 19:11. It reads:

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Plans. Isn't it ironic how we, as humans, try so hard to create the "perfect plans"-1 day or 5 year-so that we can follow the steps that we believe lead towards a goal? And isn't it even more ironic, that during all of that time-being 5 and teaching stuffed animals to being 13 and not wanting to teach, to not deciding on a major in college, to getting a teaching job fresh out of college-that God has not forgotten me nor my childhood dream. "It's strange to believe that I'm actually doing the job that I dreamed to do since I was 5 years old."

Life-adventure- has a powerful way of allowing us to experience the faith of God.

Thanks, God...for life. For faith.






(*Note: I do realize that the last "sentence" is actually not a sentence at all, it's a fragment. I just recently taught my 4th graders about the characteristics of a complete sentence.)