Resolutions and Reflections

Ah, 2010! A fresh new year, decade, heck- even a census, and once again, an opportunity to set fresh resolutions, accomplish new goals, and look forward a year's worth of adventures!

Although exciting, it's easy to become quickly overwhelmed with "all there is to do" after relaxing for a bit during the Christmas Vacation. (That's even more true for us teachers who are fortunate enough to celebrate with 12 days off from Christmas Eve to after New Years!) Already I have vowed to (once again, for the third year in a row) try and read the whole Bible in a year. (So far, so good!) I've set fitness goals (The wedding's in less than 6 months), professional goals (that's easy as a 1st year), and emotional goals (practice a Sabbath, relax, stress causes wrinkles!).

The New Year also presents a wonderful opportunity for each of us to reflect. We can reflect on our past year; achievements we've accomplished, adventures we'd love to relive, and people who've impacted our hearts. I've had a wonderful 2009. Adam proposed on February 15th. On May 24th, I graduated from Albright. In June, I ventured to the West with my fiance for the first time. In August, I was asked to return to Reading, Pennsylvania as a 4th grade teacher. I've gotten to spend hours rebuilding relationships with my close friends and family. I am so, so grateful.

Many of you know that it's not easy for me to sit and reflect. As a teacher who thrives on multitasking and practicing efficiency for every hour on and off the clock, my profession doesn't help this flaw! Yet, in those few moments when I can embrace silence, moments in the car, right before bed, I can never help but smile at just how fortunate I am. It was just a few days ago, while riding in the car, when I thought-for about the dozenth time, "I absolutely adore my job (more so, the students I get to teach) and I couldn't imagine-nor would I want to imagine-myself anywhere else for this year."

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

And so I realize, I am who I am, I love what I do, because I've been created by a God who loves me a thousand-times more than any reflection of 2009 or excitement for 2010 can bring. Wow. What a God.

It's funny, too. For the most part, I didn't even know what those desires were when making my 2009 resolutions and goals a year ago. Nor, while bumping through the "ups" and "downs" of my 2009 roller-coaster ride, did I realize that later, I'd gratefully reflect on the ride.

I have a funny feeling that I'm in for a similar surprise in 2010

I can't wait for the journey.

Melissa's Urgent Wedding

One of the greatest rewards of being a teacher is that you'll never know what sorts of surprises your students will "walk in" with each morning! Although only November, my students have flabbergasted me by giving me Eagles blankets, stuffed animals, crackers, apples, jackets, pencils, highlighters, bracelets, etc., etc., etc. (And no, I did not keep all of these things...the jacket was too small!)

It's so interesting how willing these children are to show their love by acts of service, or giving, to me! I always find myself reflecting upon it, and thanking God for reminding me of childlike faith and childlike (genuine) love through them. Humorously though, I even find myself arguing with them sometimes, such as in today's morning conversation:

Teacher: "No, no, YOU keep your sweater, it's yours!"
Student: "...but I want you to have it."
Teacher: "No, really, I appreciate your gift and your kind heart, but that's for you!"
Student: "...but I have more like it at home."

I wouldn't be a teacher, however, if I didn't admit that some of my favorite gifts are those that are academically related to the content that we're studying in school. One of my students in particular often uses her vocabulary words to write very clever stories. I couldn't resist the opportunity to share this one. (The bold words are the vocabulary words that she included.) Enjoy!

Melissa's Urgent Wedding

One day Melissa was rehearsing her play of Romeo and Juliet. Her brother was knocking on the door. He said the neighbor's house was burning down! She grabbed her purse and ran. While she was there she saw a boy. She noticed that he was in her science class. The next day she had to partner up with him. While they were researching, he asked her out. She said yes. On their date he gave her a pearl necklace. On their 4th date, he proposed to her. On their wedding day she got married in a lavender dress. Her hair was curly. When they were getting married she hurried and said yes. On their honeymoon there was new furniture and a baby turtle. On the walls there was a painted mural. They were happy about what got them together.

Tu Comprendes?

I remember 4th grade.

I remember obsessing over perfect grades; wanting no less than a 100% on everything.

I remember creating a state report on Michigan that lasted over an hour and spanned across two days.

I even remember the name of the cute boy in class that every girl crushed on.

I never remembered the challenge of having to learn a second language; how to speak it, how to spell it, and oh yea, how to understand "algebraic expression" when I'm insecure about how I pronounce "multiplication."

I grew up in a school district in Pennsylvania comprised of predominantly Caucasian students, myself being one of them. Fitting in was no problem. For the most part, we all looked alike. All of our parents made "a decent salary." We all received the hottest Christmas toys and wore the latest trends in clothing. Most of us had been living in the same neighborhoods-heck, the same houses, that we'd lived in since birth. Many of us went to CCD together at the local parishes. Language was never a challenge-we were raised speaking English, we were taught speaking English, and so we thought...in English.

Now a 4th grade teacher myself, I teach in a school district that is predominately populated with Hispanic children. In fact, my district is 76% Hispanic, the largest in the state of Pennsylvania. Here, all children are different. Parents make all sorts of salary ranging from "decent" to "none." Children have similar clothes, but that is because they are mandated a uniform. Students, on average, attend 3-4 different elementary schools between the 1st and 5th grade. Students don't only speak, think, and write in English.


Many are classified as "ELA:" English-learner acquisition students. These students often arrive in the United States from another country (such as Mexico, Puerto Rico, or the Dominican Republic) and face the challenge of enrolling in the grade level equivalent with their age (a 9 year old in 4th grade) with a less than age equivalent English vocabulary.

I never realized the difficulty of learning 4th grade concepts in English with a brain that was raised to think, speak, and write in Spanish.

As I met with my students' parents this week for parent-teacher conferences, I was again reminded of the process many of my students undertake for 6.5 hours a day. These students, when prompted with a question in English, must listen to the teachers' words in English, translate it into Spanish in their mind, think about the answer in Spanish, and then translate it back into English in order to respond. The time necessary to answer a question is nearly double my own personal 4th grade experience.

It's embarrassing how easy it is to forget that oh-so-important fact as a teacher.

"Here I am, teaching these 9 year-olds how to speak, think, and write in a whole new language,"
I thought to myself while sharing report cards with family members. More importantly, however, "Here I am, teaching these 9 year olds how to be confident, determined, and hopeful during this difficult transition."

ELA: Although difficult, challenging, and for many an "added burden" to accommodate such learners, I find special pleasure in providing assistance to such students. In fact, I enjoy it so much, I've added "pursing an ELA certification (and learning the Spanish language)" to my list of future goals, especially within education. I admire my students for their determination, and although many may not realize, am inspired by their bilingual (and sometimes, trilingual) capabilities.

My students continue to teach me more each day.

Wait, Why Do You Divide by 3 Again?

If there's one thing that I've learned within my first month of teaching, it's that I can no longer be comfortable thinking from the perspective of an adult within the classroom. Time and time again, I've caught myself assuming that my students know more than they actually do (when doing a math problem, for example), only leaving me frustrated because too many confused 4th graders are running towards me, pleading for my assistance.

Perhaps you're reading this and thinking, "well no kidding, Melissa, you are teaching 4th grade! You have to think like a kid!" The concept, however, is easier to "understand" than to actually follow. Try teaching a lesson on finding an average or dividing with remainders! What's the easiest way to to split 25 into 4 groups? Using manipulative's? A multiplication chart? Using a multiply, subtraction, check method? It's easier said than done!

I've learned that it's important that children, regardless of age, are given explicit, clear directions and are taught detailed steps to solve a problem or to complete a task. I've had to accept that I'm going to spend a lot of time giving directions...over and over. Not only do I have to repeat myself several times without loosing patience, I have to remember to truly think like a 4th grader when creating my directions and steps! I never thought I'd admit that it's difficult to think like a kid again!

A Frustrating Day on the Job

"And when I count down from 5 to 1 you should be in your seats, mouths closed, looking at me. 5...4...3...2...1!"

::Everyone is still talking.::

Today was one of the most frustrating teaching days that I've experienced thus far. It wasn't that anything went terribly wrong or that one of my kids decided to give me attitude, it's just that...my kids are just too darn chatty!

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised: I mean, they do have me as a teacher! I just never imagined how darn frustrating it can be when trying to redirect the students' focus back to me. Regardless, I feel like 60% of what I'm teaching is continuously classroom management.

It's difficult. As a new, young teacher whose ambitions are nowhere short of "saving the world," balancing classroom management with "fun, creative, energetic ideas" is a huge challenge. I want the students to look forward to coming to school. I want them to know that the classroom is a safe place. I want them to experience learning as something fun. But I also want them to view their education as something very serious and meaningful.

Too many kids in the school in which I work have a "why should I care?" or "what difference does school make?" attitude. I want that attitude to change, yet I already fear the stress and burden of "pacing guides" and 4sight testings to keep up with, leaving very little room for creativity, flexibility, and well...fun.

Not only do I find the secret management tactics of whole group teaching tricky, I'm flabbergasted at the little bit of time teachers get to spend one-on-one with students. How can I teach a mini-lesson to a small group of students and have other students on task with completing another task? I find myself struggling to make time just so I can review basic math facts with students who need to review and learn the basic mathematical functions. In fact, I found myself shifting my entire schedule around today just because I recognized a group of students that were really struggling with rounding. (Too bad about pacing guides, these fourth grade students need to know their place value chart!)

It's ironic, though, how teaching can be both so frustrating and so inspirational. As I told my fiance Adam the other night, "each day that I continue to be frustrated, I'm likewise motivated to find new ways to reteach the concept or to retry management ideas. Teaching is such a great challenge, and finding areas that I struggle with motivate me to become better...for the students."

Sometimes I feel like I'm learning more than the students.

My biggest fear, I told my mentor, "is that I hope I'm not postponing the education of my students because of my 'first year goof-ups. The last thing I want is for my kids to enter 5th grade and be clueless."

In hopes of that not happening, it's back to the drawing board for me. How else can I teach place value? Rounding? Prefix? Vocabulary? Writing? Creativity, I need you now!

Keep reading for more classroom experiences!

Life Courses and Childhood Dreams

I'm always extremely discouraged to "start up" blogging again after I'm well aware when I take a hiatus. It reminds me that I'm extremely "human," not perfect by any means, and oh yes, effected by life's course of changes every now and then.

Nonetheless, here I am, blogging, and I am comfortable to now say that after a nine day road trip from the West Coast back to the East, diving into a first year teaching job the weekend after our return, searching and scoping out wedding venues, caterers. and entertainment, and moving back to Reading all within a short month, I feel like I'm "settling in." (And some people thought that making the transition from being a college student to "going into the real world alone was overwhelming!)

"Life" has surely taken its course in my life.

I suppose I can't be surprised, though. Life is always an adventure for my fiance and I. That's how we like it to view it anyway.

As I lay here in my Reading apartment-and yes, lay-I say lay because my roommate and I literally do not have any living room furniture to sit on yet (oh, that needs to happen, too?), I still cannot relish the reality of my now "school teacher" world. Three weeks ago I had my first "day of school." Monday I had my first "faculty meeting." Tomorrow I have my first "Meet the Teacher" night. The experience still seems to be beyond me. I cannot believe that I, Melissa Jaworski, am largely responsible for the academic progress of 19 students. Really, what was I thinking when I thought that I could have that much responsibility hanging on my shoulders?

Believable or not, being a school teacher is a dream that I've held onto ever since I was five years old. In fact, the day before my "first day of school," I told my mom, "I can't believe that tomorrow I'm going to be the person I dreamed to be since I was five years old."

Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to retire a teacher. I still have a very strong passion for vocational ministry, such as working within a church or for a para-church organization. I very well may decide to not teach after this first year experience. On the other hand, I may decide that I'll continue to teach for a number of years. Nevertheless, it's incredible for me to fathom the reality of fulfilling a childhood dream.

In fact, it gives me even more hope and inspiration for the children that I'm teaching. In 4th grade, I wanted more than anything to be a teacher, and now here I am, a 4th grade teacher.

When I reflect back on my journey towards "becoming a teacher," I'm reminded of all of the different stages that I passed through while remaining committed to my dream; teaching my stuffed animals at 5 years old, filing tests and quizzes for my elementary school teachers, deciding "teaching wasn't good enough for me" at 13, continuing to organize people and tasks in every opportunity available throughout middle and high school, struggling to decide a major in college...only to choose elementary education. I've had a lot of "twists and turns," a lot of changes and "I can't decide" moments, yet always, always, have I had the consistency of a small burning flame within me to...teach.

In fact, my journey reminds me of the well-known scripture in Jeremiah 19:11. It reads:

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Plans. Isn't it ironic how we, as humans, try so hard to create the "perfect plans"-1 day or 5 year-so that we can follow the steps that we believe lead towards a goal? And isn't it even more ironic, that during all of that time-being 5 and teaching stuffed animals to being 13 and not wanting to teach, to not deciding on a major in college, to getting a teaching job fresh out of college-that God has not forgotten me nor my childhood dream. "It's strange to believe that I'm actually doing the job that I dreamed to do since I was 5 years old."

Life-adventure- has a powerful way of allowing us to experience the faith of God.

Thanks, God...for life. For faith.






(*Note: I do realize that the last "sentence" is actually not a sentence at all, it's a fragment. I just recently taught my 4th graders about the characteristics of a complete sentence.)

Thank You, Arizona! (Not Good-Bye!)

Adam and I with the most WONDERFUL host family: the Giboneys!

Two and a half months pass quickly when you're pursuing a job you love, conquering "unexplored land", and are surrounding yourself with loving people. Adam and I have thoroughly enjoyed our time here. We can't believe how quickly Thursday, August 6th has approached! Although we'll continue to "road trip," taking pit stops in Texas, New Orleans, Alabama, South Carolina, and Maryland along the way, we'll surely miss the adventures and relationships that we've built here in Peoria, Arizona.

Below are a few quick, fun questions that summarize some key take-away moments from the summer experience.

One of my favorite memories from this summer have been:
I've really enjoyed the moments when my host family (Donna, Mike, Haley, and Hunter), Adam, and I have gathered around the dinner table and have spent hours talking, eating, and sharing life together. I've always been fond of long, family meals and long to have these (at least once a week) with my future family. These moments make wonderful "warm, fuzzy" memories.

One of my greatest challenges that I've experienced while here has been:
...Not having my girlfriends around to hang out with when Adam's playing poker or P90X with the guys! Not having them around though has challenged me to keep in touch with them through phone calls and Facebook messages!

One that I'll really miss about Arizona includes:
HOW BEAUTIFULLY STRAIGHT MY HAIR LOOKS, EVEN IN THE SUMMER! Oh, my hair's at its best out here! I'll definitely miss going on early runs when it's "toasty" outside (86 degrees at 6am). I'll miss the constant sunshine and the ability to wear shorts and a tank at 11pm at night. I'll miss gazing at the mountains on my way to work. Oops, was I only supposed to list one?

One thing that I've learned here about Adam and my relationship is:
...We really do make a great team! Adventuring out here as a couple has allowed us to "lean" on each other and grow in ways we never before found ourselves compatible. We've built memories together while striving to learn more about each other and how we can best serve one another. Never before have we spent more time together and never before have I been more in love. Don't get me wrong, there's been difficult times, for sure! We're much stronger because of this summer though, and we've had a ton of fun along the way.

One thing that I've learned here about myself is:
People really love me for me: crazy, silly, outgoing, loud, hard-working, dedicated, caring, compassionate me. Even in a new environment, I was able to confidently "be who I am" and loved it. Not only did I love it, but others did, too! They loved me for me, so I need to keep loving me for me, too!

One thing that I've learned here regarding my relationship with God includes:
God created me as a human BEing, not a human DOing. My personal relationship with God (aka spending time with God) can never be sacrificed for doing things for God (aka busy schedule), especially if I work in a church! I must be just as comfortable BEING with God as I am DOING for (or with) Him!