Animal Lover

For the past few days, my host family here in Peoria, AZ has been on vacation visiting family in Texas and New Mexico. While they've been gone, they've asked me to take care of their pets (2 dogs, 1 rabbit, and 1 bird), in addition to maintaining the house in a few minor ways (watering the plants, collecting the mail, etc.). While I was extremely excited for their return on Tuesday (it's scary to stay in a big house by yourself in a state thousands of miles from "home"), I realize that I've learned a lot by spending these few days "living on my own." Not that I haven't lived on my own before...well, sort of. For my last two years at college, I lived in an apartment. Although, then, I lived with three of my friends, minimal responsibilities, and definitely no pets.

I am definitely not an animal lover.

Don't get me wrong, I grew up with pets. Cats, dogs, cat-fish, tadpole, we had many. Ever since I was old enough to understand the time, commitment, and MONEY that owning a pet requires however, I've very strongly expressed my desire to NOT have pets "when I grow up." House-sitting and having the responsibility for the food and care of a few animals independently, especially dogs, has absolutely reinforced my distaste for owning animals. I simply don't have the patience. I know that my lifestyle will be one (it already is) in which it's not a priority of mine to carve out the time for pets (to play with them, give them attention, etc.). While my host family isn't here to entertain the dogs, each day when I return home from work, I'm greeted by two excited dogs with toys in mouths ready to chase Frisbees, to eat snacks, and to be loved. (Or so we assume.) Frustrated because they always seem to block the doorway so perfectly, I yell to them, "I just don't love you as much as your family does!"

Sunday night, rushing out the door from these two [dogs] once again, I attended the High School Service here at CCV, in which a message was delivered by one of the staff about being "made" by God. He boldly shared that God has created us so that he can love us. We are the only creations that he has crafted that can feel and return love. He said, "...not the mountains, not the sea, not the animals. You may love your dog, but your dog doesn't love you. He only follows you around because he wants food. God created you because He loves you and you can love Him back."

Ha! All you animal lovers are wasting your time!

Part of me adored the message because I felt validated for my numbness towards animals. Why put effort into loving something that wasn't created to return love? An even bigger part of me marveled at the truth that God's created humans because He desires to love and to be loved. But then I wondered, "So why do I feel so darn guilty when I put up the 'doggy fence' to block the dogs from bothering me, knowing that no one has played with them in days? Are we really the only creations that can love? If animals have the mental capacity to be trained for tricks and tasks, if animals can communicate by means of barks, growls, and rubs, why don't they have the capacity to express love? After all, why do these dogs choose to lay at my feet while reading, eating, or sleeping. Why do they chase me around the pool when I'm holding my breath underwater with a look of fear in their eyes? And why do they have to look so darn cute?

Can animals love?

And I thought people were confusing. This is why I cannot own pets! There are too many questions that require expert advice and guidance. It's challenging enough trying to understand the mindsets of men and women so that I can better serve them. I've accepted that God is mysterious...

But, pets?