Decision Time

I knew this time would come around. I didn't realize that it would happen sooner than later.

Decision time: Public school teaching vs. Ministry

Realistically, this has been a decision that I've struggled with for a long time. Ever since I was five years old, I pretended to teach my stuffed animals via spelling book packets and a small chalkboard attached to one of my bedroom walls. I wanted to be a teacher. When I was 18, however, after making the decision to get baptized and beginning on my journey with Christ, I fascinated over teaching students with a different, eternal curriculum in mind.

Since then, I've struggled for a long time trying to decide into which field I fee "called." I remember graduating from high school, traveling to a high school Christian conference in Tennessee (CIY) in which I made a commitment to "enter into the ministry" and coming home perplexed because I was not going to a "Bible college" that August. How was I to fulfill my "ministry calling" if I didn't attend a Bible college? That summer, I remember spending hours on the computer researching Christian colleges with youth ministry and children's ministry majors, finally giving up my search a few days before heading to Albright College to pursue "secular degrees" in elementary education and psychology.

My indecisiveness didn't end then. (I wish!) I struggled for over a year trying to decide whether I wanted to transfer to Eastern University to pursue youth ministry, in which a mentor couple of Adam and myself suggested to stay at Albright, receive my education degree, and then, after I graduated, if I was feeling called, to pursue seminary and ministry afterwards.

The couple insisted that during these next four years, I take full advantage of my perfect opportunity to pursue college experiences, while likewise, still being able to stay fairly connected with ministry through attending and volunteering at Christ's Church of the Valley.

And, did I ever take advantage of all those opportunities!

Since then, at CCV, I've volunteered in the children's ministry as a "lead teacher" (one who teachers large group lessons from stage) for grades 2nd-5th, I've volunteered in student ministries as an "Impact Coach" for middle school students, and I've served in summer camps to reach out to new children and students. During summers, I've traveled with CIY's "Know Sweat" team to complete service projects with middle and high school students across the Midwest, and even accepted a summer children/youth internship at CCV (PA) where my ministry responsibilities (speaking, events, volunteer coordination, etc.) truly began to ripen.

Opportunities, too, to explore public school teaching have arose over the years, and I hadn't forgotten to explore those as well. Studying education in school, I volunteered at countless tutoring sessions at local elementary schools, working for four years at an after-school program in Reading. I've completed practicum sessions for nearly every grade K-6, including a full semester of "student teaching," a teaching internship in and of itself.

And where has all this experience and learning brought me, four years passed?

...at a crossroad. A decision to make: Public school teaching or Ministry?

I've graduated from Albright. I have my degrees in both elementary education and psychology. I find myself in yet another ministry internship at a mega church in Peoria, AZ this summer (this time strictly for children's ministry), and there are offers on the table.

You see, earlier this week, I was elated to discover that I received a job offer at Northwest Elementary, the first school that I student taught at during my "Practicum Semester" at Albright. When leaving the elementary school (my placement was in a 5th grade classroom), the principal said to me, "You'll be hearing from me." Not wanting to set myself up for disappointment, I didn't think too much of it, especially because I've accepted that my plans for the next year (until Adam and I marry and we settle somewhere) are a huge question mark with a giant sticker that says TRUST GOD at the bottom. A few days ago, the principal called me herself! She offered a fourth grade position and wanted to know when I can "conference call" to interview with the board.

Amazing! Thank you, Lord. (As August quickly inches closer, I've been really praying about "future-job-stuff.")

Interestingly, that same day, I sat down with my summer internship supervisor as he invited me to consider pursuing a year-long internship in the later childhood department at CCV (AZ). He described some of the benefits of a year-long internship and shared his insight for future job possibilities (not promised, of course). Knowing my plans with Adam, he offered his prayers for the decisions that lie ahead.

Money. Marriage. Jobs. Moving. Decisions.

While trying to discipline myself to "give it [my decisions] to God in prayer," I often think about the conversations that I've shared with people concerning the differences and similarities between teaching in public school and in a "church setting." I often argue that my passion to teach in public school allows all children, especially those who don't go to church, to be loved, encouraged, and taught by someone whose heart belongs to Jesus.

Yet, as wonderfully evangelistic as this motivation is, I can't help ignore my still existing, prominently strong fascination with "ministry." There's no doubt that I'm most passionate about speaking to children and students, and dare I say, I'm good at it. I've taken a serious interest in studying speakers' techniques and advice, and upon each opportunity, seek to improve what I hold true as a God-given gift. In fact, I find it incredible that at this Arizona internship alone I have been encouraged by countless adults, teenagers, and children with my gift of speaking. I have kids rushing the stage to give me high-fives after I'm speaking. I over-hear 2nd-6th grade boys reenacting the stories that I tell on stage. Boys! I've offered speaking and group-management advice to high school leaders, and they've loved it and passed it along to their friends. Staff members in the children's department have joked about "bringing me on staff" or have initiated conversation about considering future possibilities within the field. Usually, I find myself storing these memories in my heart, then brushing them off as, " these people are just saying nice things!"

I'm beginning to really be convinced though, that it's all to bizarre to not involve God.

Decision time. All prayers are so deeply appreciated!