The F Word.

I used to be inspired by the word future.

So much lies within the future.
There are so many possibilities!
Dreams can be accomplished!
Anything is possible!

Now, a senior at Albright, I loathe hearing, thinking, or speaking the word. It's all everyone talks about. "Oh, you're a senior, what are you doing next year?" "Oh, ready for the real world?" "What are you future plans?"

In fact, Adam's restricted my use of the F word around him. I think he finds it appauling.

In a desperate frenzy to try and fill in the blank that lies at the end of my life equation come May 24th, 2009, I've found myself CONSTANTLY thinking about the future. [Will I be a teacher? Will I be in ministry? Where will I live? How often will I move? Will I change my job? How often? Will I ever travel? Where? When? How?] You see, for so long (so long being 16 years of my educational career thus far), I've been able to solve my "what's next equation" with a new semester schedule, a listing of classes, or a new club that I'm hoping to join. My "what's next" question has always been answered, as long as I was returning to school. Now, approaching graduation and not sure of what to study in graduate school, I'm faced to make a decision farthest from my most adored "career" yet; student life.

Thinking about the possibility of work, living arrangements, and marriage, I'm overwhelmed with postulating ideas of how to pursue my passions and interests while upholding the value of my family, friendships, and relationship. Not positive that I can promise a commitment greater than a year's time, I'm searching for experience in any of my areas of interest to help me focus my direction of vocation. In preparation for the months' experiences that lie ahead, I've been constructing several resumes; one geared towards teaching, one geared towards ministry opportunities, one geared towards public speaking venues...it doesn't help that generally, I have a resume with over four pages of experiences, extra-cirriculars, and skills! (Okay, so maybe it does help, it's just a lot of work!)

So far, here are some of the [F-----] options that I'm considering:

• Traditional teaching in a school district K-6th grade. I'll be graduating with my elementary education certification after completing my student teaching in January in the Reading School District (5th and 6th graders). I'm eagerly awaiting this experience to contrast it with several of my other interested career aspirations. If I enjoy my inner-city experience, I'll look to apply to similar placements. By teaching in a title once school district (Reading, Philadelphia, Norristown), I can collect sign-on stipens and "loan forgiveness" benefits. Danger: teaching (especially inner-city) calls for a very high burn out rate.
• Teach for America, an Americore sponsored program. Again, considering my passion and gift of teaching, I'll be completing my application for Teach for America, a two year program that places corps members in some of the most educationally underprivledged areas across the country. Because of my close ties to Collegeville, PA, I've requested to be placed in the Camden/Philadelphia region. This program requires a two year commitment (risky, I'm aware) with education requirements during the summer. The program provides employees with stipen, living, and transitional benefits. Loan forgiveness and scholarships towards graduate schools/higher education are also available.
  
• An Intervarsity Campus Ministry internship is another highly attractive option. Greatly influenced and involved with my campus ministry through college, I've learned of the significance of students owning their faith when approaching adulthood. Many aspects of becoming an Intervarsity staff member attract me; its flexibility, room for creativity, opportunity for speaking engagements and conference planning, and close relations with college life. I could be placed at a variety of campuses in Eastern Pennsylvannia, including my current instition. Unfortunately, the internship is unpaid, meaning that I'd need to find an additional job to help support my living needs. Fortunately, I look forward to the possibility of getting a job related to working at a college (my next bullet). The internship is one year long, an encouraging feature; and if nothing else, it will be a great opportunity to continue challenging my faith.
  
• A College Admissions Counselor has been a job that I've been interested to explore since my discovered passion to inspire students to attend Albright as an student ambassador. Knowing my excitement to offer hope, excitement, and opportunities to prospective students, I'm confident that my skills and experience as a tour guide, blogger, overnight host, and conference speaker for Albright overqualifies me for any admissions counselor position at any institution. Albright, of course, is an institution that I'm considering applying to (much depends on if I pursue the Intervarsity internship), yet other institutions offer tuition remission and tuition exchange programs where, if you work at the institution, you can take graduate classes for FREE! Thus, I'm considering employment at other institutions, like Eastern University, which offer possible graduate programs of my interest (not that I can choose just one, yet!). I'll be meeting with a current admissions counselor come January to work through these opportunities.
• Finally, I'd love any job where I can exercise my LOVE OF PUBLIC SPEAKING. Out of all my dreams and passions, I know that speaking to crowds is something I absolutely adore and want to be part of my f-----. Whether speaking about Albright College or speaking Truth to children, teenagers, or young adults, I cannnot ignore my fascination or talent with such a gift. I've contacted one organization, Campus Outreach Services, to gain additional information about possibilities with their programs (thanks, April!), and have entertained my thoughts about a few additional options. Regardless of profession, I'll always be looking for opportunities to speak at events. I'll be pursuing Toastmasters International, a public speaking and leadership organization, for further opportunities as well.

And yet, to think, this is only the beginning! Who knows, one of these options may not even be the one that I'll fall into come May. And so, I've been challenging myself to not occupy my mind too frequently with thoughts and plans of the future. Known as one to "plan and organize" (gotta love those ESFJs), it's very difficult for me to not try and "plan every option" while knowing I'm only a few months away from a completely different lifestyle. I've realized that with so many passions and gifts, I'm driven towards many different professions and opportunities, and I have a lifetime to experience them. This year has been all about trust God with the end of equation, while learning to not get so wrapped up in the future that I can't enjoy the joy of the present. A few verses remind me of how to direct my thoughts about the future:

1. Proverbs 16:3
   Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
   
2. Proverbs 16:9
   In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
   
3. Proverbs 19:21
   Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

It does not take much for me to suspect that I'll be revisiting this topic soon. I promise to keep you posted on the above propositions. And of course, if any of you have advice or futher organizations, placements, opportunities to consider post graduation, I'd love to hear about them! I'm exciting for these next steps, as nerve-wracking as they can sometimes seem. But for now, remind me to focus on the PRESENT while being mindful about the F word.