USA TODAY FIRST TEAM ALL ACADEMIC AWARD

I recently was nominated for a "USA Today First-Team All Academic Award." It's an award that recognizes the top 20 undergraduate students in the United States for the academic, intellectual, and societal achievements that they've accomplished. I was encouraged by many professors and administrators on my campus to represent Albright (and myself, of course) for the award by submitting an application. Come February, the winners will receive their pictures and biographies in the USA paper and a $2500.00 cash award.

Naturally, the application process for such an award was rigorous; asking for multiple explanations of academic, leadership, and professional experiences. Recommendations were needed from multiple venues. Most important (and most challenging), each student was expected to write a 500 word essay on his or her "most intellectual endeavor" throughout their undergraduate experience. The endeavor was judged on difficulty, uniqueness, and whether it benefits society.

Throughout my essay and as I describe my most intellectual endeavor, I wrote of the importance of discovering a passion to love and serve people. In one paragraph, I specifically state: "I aspire to one day continue communicating my desire for all people: whether women or men, young or old, that their value lies not in artificial assessments, such as academic achievement or popularity, but in understanding and loving themselves and others."

I've discovered a passion.

A passion in which I aspire to communicate to people that their lives are not based upon artificial assessment, such as academic achievement or popularity, but in understanding and loving themselves and others.

What a wonderful aspiration.

Yet, ironically (or probably not so much), after completing my application and finishing the semester, my challenge for others and "mission" for myself as stated above was tested as I anxiously checked my fall semester grades online.

After receiving my very first A- last semester, dropping my perfect 4.0 GPA to a "not uniform" 3.987, I convinced myself that my grades were no longer to identify me. Rather than measuring my self-worth on a 4.0 scale, I was to instead adopt a mission loving and serving people; finding my value in a love for people rather than an artificially assessed number.

Stubbornly, I still anticipated nothing short of a 4.0 for the semester.

Can't I believe all that "mush" about myself and still get nearly perfect grades?

Apparently not.

What I saw instead was another "not uniform" GPA, this time, a 3.976. I had received another A-, this time in my psychology senior seminar.

Apparently I wasn't the only stubborn one.

And so, when discovering my less-than-perfect-even lower than before GPA a second time, I cried.

Balwed, actually.

All day long.

In fact, I cried so much that I began to feel completely incapable of anything. I concluded that because I had received a 3.97 GPA I had "failed." That because I now hold a 3.97 GPA, I will not academically "stand out" on job applications. That because I've dropped to a 3.97 GPA, I was stupid, ugly, and friendless; anything but valuable.

Ouch.

It wasn't until I had an experience with my brother and a conversation with my boyfriend did some sense knock into me.

I thought that after my first A-, I had accepted myself with my imperfection of a 3.987 GPA. However, what I realized upon receiving my second A- was that I had not completely accepted that reality. I still had a "conditional sense of value" for myself; a value dependent upon my achievementd with grades.

Yet, after tutoring my twelve year old brother with his math homework, I felt refreshed of why I so boldly stated that loving and serving others helps me feel most alive. And after listening to Adam, I was reminded that in a world that is filled with poverty, hunger, divorce, rape, war, disease, and inequalities, we serve a God that cares about people, not about GPAs.

You see, because if you really choose to make your life about others, like Jesus, becoming obsessed over little things like GPAs don't exactly fit the "loving and serving others" description. Of course, working hard, performing well, and learning through academics is important and it can help others. Yet, there is a line that can be danced around by certain over-achievers in which the choice to "achieve As" becomes an unhealthy obsession of artificially loving and serving no one but one's self; falsely stating "I'm important because I earned an A, and I better keep it up, or else..."

I'm not sure what sort of grades or GPA Jesus received when in school.

I'm not sure if today he would make the All-USA Today Academic Firs Team with his picture in the newspaper and a cash prize award.

I am certain though that we don't know his grades for a reason.

That's not what defined him, and that's not why he's remembered.

Jesus was transformational because of his love for others and service for people.

Heck, if he won the award, he'd just end up giving the cash prize away anyway.