Doubt

Why are there so many people hurting in this world...?

...and why can't I help them?

Let me change that.


Why are there so many people hurting in my world, and why do I fail to help them?

I wish there was a way that I could help make every marriage and relationship perfect, that I could help make every family love each other and spend time together, that I could help every teenager and young adult value themselves...

I wish I felt like I was actually doing something.

But I'm doubting myself.

I'm doubting God's timing, I'm doubting God's promises, I'm doubting God's work through me, and I'm doubting the fruit that I can't see being planted right now because I'm too busy worrying over if I'm tossing enough seeds.

What is it about doubt that just...sucks so much?

John 20:27 says "stop doubting and believe." Perfect memory verse, yet much easier said than done! When will I actually learn to use the word of God as offense to questions and feelings like these? When am I going to stop worrying about doubting myself so that I can believe in God? When will I truly live out the reality that my life isn't about me, but is about serving Him?

"Stop doubting and believe."

[Okay, okay, okay...breathe.]

Although slowly-sometimes, very slowly, I'm learning that God allows for experiences, conversations, and people to interrupt the "perfect plans" of our live so that we can be reminded-again and again and again and again-who ACTUALLY is in control. Sometimes-most times-it is so easy to feel frustrated by a "lack of performance" to help people. Many times, I quickly become discouraged at these moments because of my weaknesses and incompetency. Yet, these are the beautiful moments where-if we believe-we can trust God to handle our situations in His perfect timing.

I'm learning.

Slowly but surely.

"Stop doubting and believe."